II

It isn't as much things changing as it is people changing. A lot of people never really let anyone see what they are really like, or who they really are. They're fake, and I can categorize most of the people I've met into that category. I lived reckless for a little while and really put myself out there. I drank because it felt good and drank more because I wanted to feel better. Most nights I drank to the point where I wasn't in control. I've ran around campus yelling "boobies" as loud as I could, talked back to cops and gotten cited, and more on top of it than I care to admit. I puked so many times that I should of learned my lesson, but never did. Now all I'm left with are these memories, many of which are blurred and I can't piece entirely together. For over half of my college career I let loose and had the best time of my life. I met some great people and have some great stories, but in the end that's all I'm really left with. I can't get a job, and frankly I don't really want to or think I'm ready. I wish I had 2 more years of school. I wish I could go back in time and re-live some of those moments I cherish so deeply. I'll never be able to simulate any of it ever again. From here on out it is over, and I'm forcing myself to grow up. If I don't get a decent job in the next year I'm moving to Florida. I'm still young and I still have a lot of living to do. What would you regret more, not living your life and being single in your early twenties or leaving the one person you love to put off growing up for a few more years, knowing you might never meet anyone who you care about that much ever again? I call this my quarterlife crisis.